I was feeling rather sorry for myself this afternoon when I accepted the fact that wearing cute, very unsupportive shoes to go learn square dancing tonight would, in fact, be foolish. I wanted to wear a dress or skirt, you know.. And I was ridiculously angry that arthritis leached that far, that I have to think about that sort of thing when I leave my house! I can't just throw on whatever I want, I have to take into account how much walking, sitting and standing I'll be doing. I thought how "sometimes arthritis figuratively kicks you in the crotch" and for a little bit, I remembered how hating someone is like murdering them in your heart, and I was perfectly okay with it. Die. I hate it. It sucks.
I use to *love* dancing- I still do. I loved it so much that I wanted to be a dance instructor for little kids when I grew up. I danced during the singing at church, I danced to the Black Eyed Peas on my Mp3 player.. And then arthritis happened.
But you know what I just realized? Not that long ago, we were happy because I could dance again.
So yeah.. I wore jeans and a button down instead of one of my favorite dresses. I broke a fashion "rule" and wore skinny jeans with running shoes- But I had fun! I learned some square dancing, had a great night with some of my siblings and future sister-in-law and you know what? I danced with a stranger who happened to be a male that was taller than my shoulders, within a non-creepy age and had beautiful eyes.
His name was Chris.
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